Chemo Round 3 - Day 4

Keep expecting to crash but I haven't so far. Got a touch of heart burn and yesterday after work I just didn't feel like working into the evening. I curled up under a blanket from 5-10 before deciding to go to bed.

I'm not loving the extra throaty mucus production. My mouth just tastes and feels bad and no amount of gum, brushing or water sipping seams to help.

Paul's been drinking more than usual. It bugs me. I can't even look at him without wincing. He coughs more and when he does he doesn't cover up. It's one of those gross wet coughs that make you wince a room away. And the smell! I'm a lot more sensitive to smells. Even imagined smells are grossing me out. My own urine grosses me out because it seems more concentrated and therefore smells worse.

At the same time I'm hypersensitive and cutting myself off.

Need to pick up some hard candies. As I recall a package of Jolly Ranchers got me through the rough patch last time. Sugar won't help the mouth sore situation but it makes my mouth feel normal for a while.

The canker sore I had on my cheek last week has healed. Well, at least that's something.

I also wish Paul would quit with the "what wine with dinner?" and "I take it you won't be needing tobasco"... When I'm ready to resume normal eating habits, I will. In the mean time, enough with the rubbing of salt in my wounds. I'm not happy. I have no sense of humor about my digestive system.

And my breathing is... It's not laboured. But I can't breath as deep as I would like. When I do, I gag a bit. And because I can't breath as deep, I have less oxygen... less energy. Sometimes I practice breathing in as much air as my lungs will hold but it's not as much as before.

I don't like weakness.