Bobby and Avery. Michelle, Taylor, Madison and Jenna. Jim and Carol. Mike and Elsa. Jay, Shelly and Anna. Leslie, Eli and Paul. And me!
Bobby made cupcakes - enough pink ones to form a pink ribbon icon and a bunch that looked like boobies! Very entertaining. You can imagine the jokes that were going around as the last titty-cake was fought over.
I love the trophy Wink presented me! It's hysterical! A female body builder flexing her "guns".
Then Wink said, "Speech! Speech!" - Arg... I choked.
How do you make a speech for an occasion like that? What I really wanted to say was: "That it really was nothing. Anyone could have done it. It's not like I've done something great. And now it's time to get on with the rest of my life."
But I didn't. I gave that speech once before... At my high school graduation dinner:
"It really was nothing. Anyone could have done it. It's not like I've done something great. And now it's time to get on with the rest of my life." I was completely mortified by my own words when I looked around the table and realized that out of all the friends and family that had gathered to celebrate my achievement, no one else had graduated from high school. It hadn't occurred to me that not finishing school was an option or possibility. It hadn't occurred to me that it was a privilege or grand achievement.
I kind of feel the same way about this cancer thing. It was no big deal. I'm probably in denial about how serious the situation was, but in my mind the cancer that was in me was no more a threat than if the cancer had been outside of me. Like a mole gone arye, the doctors cut it out. Then I spent a few months under going treatments to prevent a recurrence.
Not doing the treatment was not an option. Surviving the treatment, though tough, was inevitable. Getting the treatment was a privilege but it doesn't feel like a grand achievement. It's hard to balance such a cavalier attitude with humility.
Wink has repeatedly told me that she's seen many cancer patients, but has never seen one go through what I did with such grace and positive attitude. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I never felt like a cancer patient. Someone who had a cancer, yes, but that was dealt with - problem solved.
What I do want to express is gratitude. Thank you everyone for all the words of support and loving thoughts.
This experience has really made it apparent to me how many lives I've touched. It makes me want to be a better person.
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