Friday, April 16, 2010

I Feel Weak - pt 2

Extreme fatigue is the killer. Small efforts are equivalent to running marathons.

Brushing my teeth is a huge effort. But it must be done! My tongue has turned white. I don't think it's thrush. I've worried about that since over hearing that it could be a symptom. It looks like the outer layer of skin is dying off - attack of the killer meds. Nothing gross like sloughing skin or anything, just white. If I scrub, it turns pink again... but not for long.

Showering is a HUGE effort. I miss having a massive head of hair that would soak up a lot of hot water an keep me warm throughout. Instead, I spend a lot of time huddling under the spray trying to stay warm. I always feel like I'm missing something. Not having to shampoo and condition or shave definitely saves a lot of time. Lather and rinse... that can't be it. I thought it was just habit a first, but after a shower I still wrap my head in a towel just to keep warm.

Sitting up is hard. That lasts for about 5 minutes (I'm being generous) before I begin to melt. I, and my back especially, are sick to death of laying down. Sometimes I pace just to get the blood flowing again. A person shouldn't find themselves breathing hard from plodding around their kitchen 3-4 times.

My digestive system has drifted off to sleep. Three mouthfuls of water or juice is enough to fill me up. There's the feeling of a small cannon ball pushing up under my ribs against my diaphragm. It makes me gasp for air too. If I stop and concentrate on breathing in and filling my lungs, I can, they are not congested. They're just way under utilized. Which, I fear, is also contributing to my fatigue.

4:14 am - I should get some rest.

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